Friday, September 23, 2005
Choosing the creative life....
is not always fun or easy. no siree.
I'm sipping peppermint tea.
I'm having writers block.
I'm listening to Antony and The Johnsons
Listen to “Hope There’s Someone”… it might make you weep.
(I saw them & Coco Rosie in concert this week... blessed sounds)
I want a hair cut. maybe like Jean Seburg.
My creative muscles are sore.
I feel so rigorously pushed in my drawing class.
Imagine 12 hours of drawing drapery. Yes, that is my reality.
I'm one of the "worst" in the class. I just don't draw well from life... it's not where I feel inspired. I feel inspired by narratives, characters, beauty, anguish, love, loss... not DRAPERY.
I wish I wasn't so angsty in the process. Drawing is hard! It is humbling and I am frustrated. It is not an easy path for me, but I am challenged and reaching beyond my comfort zone and that is how I wish to live my life. Stretching, exploring, pushing, growing, seeking my truth. I wish in the process I could relax and smell the orange blossoms.
I'm feeling like I’m constantly battling myself and my skills. Do you all feel that way sometimes?
I thought you didn't have growing pains at almost 30 years old!
...My family friend Jeremy had a jewelry design company called "Late Bloomer" and I didn't quite get it when I was little. I thought she meant the flowers that she sculpted for her earrings were blooming late. I guess I am one, a late bloomer.
I'm going to do some relaxing things for myself this week:
soak in a hot tub
see my friend Kate WC
eat a morning bun at tartine bakery
take time to stretch before exercising
paint for myself
Goodness gracious I am spilling at the seams…
**I just spoke with my friend Ali and she reminded me that while I’m in school to “Mess up, take risks and make a whole lot of bad drawings”!