Sunday, February 26, 2006

work-in-progress, aren't we all?

work in progress
this week off of blogging was a little bit of many things. above is my studio and some works in progress, behind my messy easel.

i missed you! i realized the extent at which i count on my little blog as a way to stay connected and that the life of an artist can be isolating, and that this community helps the loneliness gaps. Here is filled with inspiration and motivation for me. I appreciate you. alas, there is a time of inspiration gathering and then just a time to hunker down and get to work, sans distraction. that was what this week was for me. sticking to it, even when i'd rather be checking in on my little cyber world.

i feel like one of the roles of an artist and the pleasure of life is to appreciate the visual aesthetic and emotional landscape acutely. this we do with or with out a blog, but it is nice to capture it. this week i noticed and wanted to write about, photograph, draw, post, blather on about:

*my fresh folded laundry, laid on my bed in piles, making patterns of pretty nuanced colors.

*eating peashoots and flourescent orange butternut squash curry.

*a man on his 80th birthday and a surprise party celebrating the years lived and loved.

*discovering behind the deli a secret garden for eating lunch with a lemon tree.

*feeling alone, scattered, nibbling on too much....going to that place and climbing back out.

*cleaning out an old suitcase of ideas and drawings... purging, making room for new ideas.

*applying for a grant for a collaborative book and feeling like we could really do this!

*meeting with a professor at "Wired" for lunch and digging the creative energy (and the magazine's personal chef!).

*the wholphin dvd magazine.

*Philz turkish coffee made by the cup with mint and cream and sugar.

those are some snippits.

H and i had a little &hearts to &hearts about my path. illustration or painting? i'm kinda in between majors in art school, one foot in each department. i know i should just let the artwork reveal itself, but either direction requires a lot of energy and focus. approaching galleries vs. magazines. the answer is both. however, i think in my heart i am not an illustrator because i am a rebel. i don't like to do work for other people per se. i like to create from my own ideas. i really have struggled with this labeling. i know there are a lot of folks who do both and are accepted in both disciplines, and this i need to explore. in the end, we decided that my motto should be "go fucking ballistic". don't hold back. i feel when i'm trying to fit one hat or the other, i hold back a bit... time to go ballistic and let out that inner desire onto the page. does anyone relate here and want to join my fierce mantra? hee. my friend sab, full of knowledge, wrote "NOW is the time" in my notebook that is staring me in the face right now. so true. Now is the time... for going fucking ballistic:)

i will leave you with something to think about relating to work-in-progress and the bigger story, found in my little suitcase of tricks passed on by my friend Katherine who illustrates children's books. personally this quote reflects my path of starting school and discovering the more you know, the less you know...learning is illuminating. it also seems to speak on the bigger story of our growing to know ourselves. for some reason, read this way, gets me teary, especially in the context of witnessing an anonymous 80 year old man blowing out 80 birthday candles and imagining his story. Or maybe it's just how to write a good kid's book:

"In the best of stories the end may take on a greater meaning than was anticipated in the beginning. When this happens, the story grows into a new dimension, the individual becomes universal, the specific and mundane becomes magical and wondrous. Even stories of the utmost simplicity can take on a surprising significance from the way they complete their actions".
~Writing with Pictures by Uri Shulevitz


Anonymous said...

finally! you're back. sarah, moira and I (I went to Moira's babeeee shower and discovered they are both visit matirose regularly!) were all tired of looking at that pitcher and bowl of rasberries.
love to you, and YEAH, go fucking ballistic! that kind of goes with one of my favorite phrases of late... "going apeshit," although going apeshit sounds a little scarier than going ballistic....

lisa s said...

welcome back mati!

great post filled with energy! love it!

ballistic is the way!!!!!

christine said...

i missed you!

you remind me that i, too, need to stay connected to this beautiful circle of artists , thinkers and dreamers. it feeds my soul.

i can't wait to see what you create.

oh, and nice studio! i so dream of a space like that. someday. i hope.

shash said...

so nice you're back! missed reading your blog. the new works look exciting!

Tabuena art central said...

Lovely works...cheers

kelly said...

welcome back...missed you!

Meredith said...

glad you're back Mati! The works in progress look amazing. I can't wait to see what else you'll do!

gkgirl said...

glad to see you are back,
love being able to see a snippet
of your week
as well as a peek into your

and go full force head on ballistic...


penelope said...

Yay, you're back! I missed you!

I do painting and illustrating... Sometimes I find myself questioning what I'm doing... feeling a bit schitzophrenic, but I think that's just how it goes. It works for me.

la vie en rose said...

welcome back! i'm lovin' you new mantra!

anj said...

welcome back, mati! nice to read you again. That Turkish coffee sounds yummers. Love the quote as well. Uri Shulevitz is required reading for one of my children's writing classes. Glad you're familiar with him too. Happy painting!

risa said...

ahhh...what a great way to come back! i love the story quote. i´m writing a little story right now and it is HARD. oh, and love the lady painting in your studio! beautiful!

Goddess of Leonie said...


i love this post.

i too dig the time away from connecting...
there is inspiration gathering into wicker baskets,
but they begin to overflow,
sometimes stagnate...
and the times come to go fucking ballastic indeed.
just work it out in the studio.
do what inspired you in the other moments.
find just what it is that keeps you moving and pushing.
the last month has been like this for me.

i resonate with this post indeed.

blessings to you ~

Shari said...

welcome back, mati. there is SO much goodness in this post. I love your list of observations from your week away...perhaps you should consider posting for 5 Senses Friday. :) xo Shari

Shell said...

Oooh, it's great to be reading you again. I love this post - the uncertainty about the future and which path to follow is something I have felt for years. Except I have always resisted going down an art path altogether (fears of not being 'good enough') - now I'm doing it! I haven't thought about the paths within the art path yet, but I'm sure it will come.

I think you should definitely go fucking ballistic - but it's scary hey? The fine arts give such huge scope that it can be overwhelming. I'm on the beginning of my journey and am totally awed by what I 'could'do or be. You have a unique style which can be utilised in both the fine arts and world of illustration - why limit yourself? Anyway, you have answered your own question within your own post - you know what you truly believe is right for you. Go for it!

jerusha said...

very intrigued by that lone lady in the dark up there. :)

Laini Taylor said...

Hi Mati -- I went through some similiar issues with illustration as you: I never wanted to do freelance work. I wanted to do my own stuff. I think there IS a middle ground between the gallery world and the freelance magazine world, and it's a big and varied middle ground. For me the shining light has been licensing and product development. That is, drawing & painting what I want and then trying to get it into the world as cards and prints and gift products. But I think your "go ballistic" approach is right-on. It's through exploration and play that we discover what we love. How do we know what we want to do until we see what it is we do when given the space and time? Good luck!

ArtsyMama said...

Great to have you back, Mati!!! Love that quote:)

Server Girl said...

i am so happy that you are back...i was thinking about you as i was framing the print that i got from you. Your studio looks fabulous and it seems like you are refreshed! :)...i will be checking in on ya!!

risa said...

i hope your grant for the book works out, but regardless you should make an artist book!!! it would be beautiful...with your work and your writing...

Swirly said...

I, too, have been struggling with what I am as an artist - painter, visual/mixed media artist, illustrator, writer? I am still trying to figure it out, but I find the more I try to figure it out, the more constipated the process becomes. What I really need to do is simply create.

Marie said...

This is a beautiful and inspiring post. I really love when people can write so precisely about their inner turmoils. It makes me feel less alone.

andrea said...

wow, inspired by your moments. so much beauty in them.

and ballistic is the way, I say!