Wednesday, February 08, 2012

everything is going to be okay.

I woke up this morning for the first time feeling like everything is going to be okay.


It's been 2 months since my husband moved out. I've been waking up every morning with amnesia and have had to remind myself of my new life.


This morning I awoke in my room and saw this beautiful burst of sunlight and flower pins and hairclips that I had hanging and remembered what I loved. What inspires me. What makes me get up in the morning.


In writing my Painting book I realized that I was writing medicine to myself, my future self. As Helen Keller said:


"Life is either a daring adventure or nothing".


Furthermore that the adventure and the daring part is just about aligning yourself to what makes you feel alive.

My husband and I had a beautiful and complex relationship where we loved each other and were artistic allies. There is so much mystery to people. There is so much that I won’t understand, but what I do know is that we must continue to “show the world our magic” and align ourselves to our own truth and aliveness.


Today I decided to paint my own magic for the first time in my studio in months and it felt AWESOME.



I realized while writing my book that what you put on your canvas is really a mirror for your life. By being daring on my canvas, my life broke open in a new way and is waiting for me to begin.



xoxoox

160 comments:

betsy said...

Oh, Mati! What an inspiring post! You have so much love to give and magic to share. Sending you much hope, love and healing. xoxo

Barbara said...

Dear Mati, I am sorry to hear this, but I am sure that everything will be allright! Your post ist wonderful and conforting. Thank you so much for sharing. Yesterday I painted the first time since a long time and it felt oh so good. Ok it´s not the best painting ever but I am so happy to finally have overcome the fear of the blank canvas.

leslie said...

beautifully and *perfectly* expressed, dear one :)

andrea said...

my friend, I am glad to see you here in this space. and I know that everything is going to be okay. and I love you. xo

DaughterEarth said...

awe. sorry to here you are going through rough times. glad you got back in your studio. I haven't touched my artwork for 5 months!

mosey (kim) said...

Plus you have sparkly shoes pointing the way forward. warmth and more permanent being okay wished for you today.

Tiffany Moore said...

Absolutely, gorgeous Mati Rose!

I so admire the courage that it took for you to write about this ~ and here's to showing the world YOUR magic! We love it!

xox

Jodi Ulschmid said...

Mati, I'm sorry about the news, but you are right, you will be okay. It's a new beginning and it will be good. You are such an amazing artist. Put your emotions on canvas and create more magic. Blessings to you!

Catherine Denton said...

So sorry for your pain, Mati. ((Hugs)) Those flowers ornaments against the sun seem to hold such promise. Glad you could paint from your heart today.
Catherine Denton

Mira Reisberg said...

Mati- I'm with everyone else here, celebrating your strength and beauty and vulnerability and wishing you well as this next part of your life begins unfolding. I hate loss but it's so much a part of life. What can we do? It was really upsetting to hear of this - I send my love to you.

tammie said...

your strength and courage are inspiring to us all! sending good, healing and happy thoughts!

Anonymous said...

prayers and best wishes for guidance and healing, peace of mind and peace of heart, contentment ... whatever you need, especially during tough times and always.

glad you've been back to painting - and congratulations on the book!!!

kathy

Tessa said...

Thank you so much for sharing this inspiring and honest post with us. I love seeing your studio full of paintings. Art is what always reminds me that everything is going to be okay, no matter what.

I can't wait to read your book!

P.S. Awesome shoes! :)

liz elayne lamoreux said...

i'm sitting here looking at my "there is nothing wrong with you" print and sending over love and light to you dear girl. i am looking forward to seeing all that you create next...

Little Brown Rabbit said...

So sorry Mati to hear your news. I'm glad you are ok & so pleased you are painting again. Best wishes Emma

Susannah Conway said...

oh, honey, i had no idea! sending you snuggles and squeezes, and can't wait to hug you in person in the summer - hang in there my love, it's going to okay! (it really is -- trust me) xxx

peace owl forest said...

dear mati everything will be ok! you have a speacial magic and you can't ever let that fade. be strong couragious and adventure on. love your art and keep spreading it. much love to you.
peace & love

sarah said...

i'm so glad you're back!

sarah ahearn bellemare said...

oh mati, i'm so sorry to hear what you've been going through these past few months, but it's certainly true, everything is going to be okay.

it's SO nice to see you back in this space and back in your studio painting!

i'm sure that getting back to painting again will help you catch your breath and make you feel like yourself once again.

sending love and hugs!
xo *s

Auntie Donna said...

Dear Mati, well written.. proud of you !!!! An elderly friend commented on the hardships of her life saying "you can either get bitter or better, with God's help the choice is yours." Blessings as you travel this new road... Love and prayers, Auntie Donna

rebecca said...

oh sweet mati what a perfect awakening, you returning yourself to the light.
loving you every step of the way.
xoxoxoxoxoxo

Dana Barbieri said...

I am so sorry to read that and impressed with your bravery to share. By you expressing that you have comforted others today. xo

Lisa Gonzalez said...

Dearest Mati Rose,

I have held a high opinion of you since I first stumbled upon your art a couple of years ago. Your bravery just adds to my respect for you.

Wishing you lots of magic, love, and healing as you travel a new path.

xoxo,
Lisa

Bonita Rose said...

U matter. your art matters.
We all love you and support you.
You are strong.
You are brave.
You are a miracle.
Believe in yourself again dear heart. Believe in yourself again. xo hugs

Jess said...

Yes, it is going to be okay. You are an amazing woman who inspires me in so many ways. I have always looked up to you and I still do. xo

Silvia said...

Mati, that was a brave post to put up there today, and I am so so sorry ... but also glad to see that you were able to go back to painting today ... I hope you find a wonderful new chapter is just beginning for you. x

Cathy {tinniegirl} said...

You've been in my thoughts a lot lately. I had no idea why but you just kept popping into my consciousness. I'm sorry to read that you've been through such a rough patch, but glad to see a peak of optimism in there amongst it. Yes, show the world your magic. It's such a gift. Cxxx

maryoplinger said...

Hi Mati- Glad to see a sunlit post on your blog and hear about your inspiration through disappointment and sorrow. I think about you often. Take comfort knowing that a "village" is rooting for you. Love, Mary

Mindy Lacefield said...

i love you dear friend. i believe in your magic! keep shinin'
i love to see rainbow colors in your studio.

The Creative Beast said...

Just now catching up on this blog post and my heart goes out to you, for your current sorrow as well as to celebrate the beautiful spirit you are Mati! Of my memories from my first Artful Journey retreat, YOU stick out most for your humor and genuine kindness and I know those qualities will continue to guide you through this new phase of your life =-)

Congratulations on the book! I've put it in my wish list so I can get a copy!

Anna-Marie Raven said...

I understand...and am holding the curtains wide open...for the light to shine in and warm your soul....much love to you..."YOU" are FULL of wonder and magic...peace to you as you heal and grow...AM

corinne said...

Dearest Mati, Thank you for this brave post. Yes, everything is going to be glorious...but it may take a while to feel it more than you don't feel it. Be good to yourself and lean on these kabillions of people who love you. xo

amy said...

your particular brand of magic is wonderful.. it makes me smile to see your lovely sailboat painting on my wall. take care.

Silky Hart said...

Sweet Mati, I'm so HAPPY to hear you are in this illuminating place -- it IS all going to be okay. It will be far more than okay. I love what you write about aligning with your truth and aliveness and painting your own magic! Your life will indeed break open to magnificent experiences -- your future self knows this. xoxo

Petra Kern said...

Dear Mati
I am just sending you a big,enormous hug around the world. I just know you will be ok and you'll overcome the sadness. Promise.

Geek+Nerd said...

Oh, Mati! I am so sorry to hear this news. I, myself, have been separated from my husband for over a year and it's been a journey to be sure. If it is any comfort - I will will say, it DOES get better. Sending you good thoughts.

Janis said...

This brings tears to my eyes, but I know you will pull through... your strength is something to admire. Looking toward the future... X

Stephanie Perkinson said...

So much love for you. You are standing on the precipice of change and magic and a new path and you are correct...all is right. It is as it should be my love.
I separated 18 months ago and I'm telling you, even though you feel like you might burst into a million pieces and melt away into nothing, the sun still shines and the birds still chirp. Keep making happy elephants and smiling suns (like the ones I saw at Pier 1!). XOXOXO

greenearth50 said...

Dear Mati, It is a beautiful post! You are so brave and inspiring to share. Everything is going well for you and your magic painting. Sending you good thoughts and ((hugs)). Enjoy the beginning of your journey! xo

j. vorwaller said...

You are such an incredible, strong, resourceful friend. Excited to see what your new life will bring! xo Sending love your way...

Kaylovesvintage said...

that sounds good...
be strong

sharon | the teacup incident said...

Lovely expression of hope here. I would like to award you the Versatile Blogger award for inspiring me with your art. http://theteacupincident.typepad.com/the-teacup-incident/2012/03/the-versatile-blogger-award.html

Anonymous said...

thank goodness for art. it has nutured my soul on more than a few occasions.
Domenico

Jakki said...

so many words to say and when I type them they do NOT come out right.

I hate that.

I've always loved photography, since I was 13 but when I got divorced...my heart seemed to find another way to tell about my life when I couldnt or wouldnt find the words.

may your story find its way out of you in every way possible.

Katrina said...

sweet you. just making the blog rounds and came by here to see what you might be posting. and here you are letting your big beautiful light shine. a big beautiful life. yours. yes it is. love & light to you.

Girls Bedroom said...

Hey
mati rose
Fairly refreshing piece! I enjoyed reading your article. Many thanks

Naomi said...

My heart hurts reading this. BUT I'm feeling your sense of empowerment and wishing you more strength as each day comes.

Suzanne said...

I'm looking at this old post, your most recent post, and hoping you are doing better. Keep painting and creating, and keep sharing. This is a great community of artists out here who love to hold one another up.

Maria at inredningsvis.se said...

AMAZING POST:)
Your blog is so wonderful..do you have twitter or fb to follow with??

If you want some d├ęcor inspiration from Sweden, check out my blog:)

Have an awesome week.

LOVE Maria at inredningsvis.se
(Sweden)

Kama said...

I just bought your book Mati and wanted to let you know it arrived today and I'm reading and loving it and can relate to it. So I thought I'd let you know this - I'm sorry to hear you're having to go through this awful time - I've been there unfortunately and know its not nice - suffice to say, one day you will come out the other end of the tunnel. And the journey will be over and you'll be at your destination.

sewa mobil jakarta said...

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Jess said...

I came here for the first time today from Martine's blog and I'm so sorry to hear about you and your husband. I am also very HAPPY that you're painting! I too have just started a new big canvas after a very long time of doing tiny tiny work. It's very liberating and so true what you say. Thankyou for sharing such inspiration! :)
Jess x x

Ginger said...

Mati Rose, I found your blog via Kelly Rae Roberts and I love your artwork! Keep following your heart I can't wait to see more :)

Kathrine

Babbie said...

Hi Mati Rose,

Remembering back when my life changed, I couldn't bare to listen to music, didn't want to see two people in love, thought all men were cheating, thought everyone knew he had left me... on an on.

I now know that I had to go through that to get where I am today. I needed to feel the pain and the shame to be able to be healed and to help heal. I blog about this and know that sharing is my medicine.

You will find your way, you already are. It's hard to understand what happens and why it happens, but moving forward (painting) is what will help you grow and improve.

My best to you. Blessings galore! www.babbielynn.com xo

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Hi,

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Meka said...

Wishing you the best in self re-creation and all things good. Thank you for being brave enough to share your life with us!

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christy said...

Dear Mati
Just got your book from the library (I had requested they order it and I LOVE IT!!!!) and am reading it today on a day when I decided that I must shift my perspective and look at the good in my life!
And then I came here to find you online and then I see this empowering and inspiring post.
THANK YOU for all of it!
and for your courage in continuing to share your brave journey!

sending you BIG BOLD LOVE!!!!

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daya saraswati dasi said...

wow, i haven't looked at any blogs for over a year now... looks like we both went through a divorce at the same time - i stopped posting on my blog too around that time. it's been a year and i have a brand new life. i hope that your heart is continuing to heal, it is a process that never ends... but there are bits of sunlight along the way. sending you love and hope to see your book or new paintings soon.
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Dear Mati...
I have visited you and admired your talent, but didn't comment.
I am so sad n' sorry-I fear this may happen to me. My spouse doesn't share or understand my need to create. I know you will find art to comfort you and support you at this difficult time. Go with whatever sparks your attention and tap those gorgeous shoes. You know Dorothy originally had Silver slippers, not Ruby ones.
You are so talented and magic will come through you again and again!
Sorry you are having a difficult time~ @>-------------

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