Tuesday, April 25, 2006
it feels like a while since i've wrote something real... for days now i've been wrought with a dilemma/opportunity to take a job in an arts related field for little pay. i did the math over and over again, but ultimately, even after asking for more $ the job wouldn't pay as much as a restaurant one.
it was such a good exercise in clarifying my current values. i found myself debating what i should be doing with what i want to be doing. i'm sometimes a bit of a goody-goody, or rather, i don't like to dissapoint people and therefore saying no to things is challenging. even if it is a job that doesn't ultimately sustain me financially.
i wish it weren't so, but in the process i realized there were other issues at stake, like time for me alone to paint! it feels so indulgent and delicious.
sweet love of painting... i cannot wait to have a summer of days off (night working at the restaurant-- a new stable Indian one with wonderful interesting people, many of whom are artists too). having made that decision affords me time and renewed energy towards my summer plans.
i am really looking forward to lunchtime with my studiomates. a new one just arrived whom i already adore who does sound documentaries and my friend sab is soon to join:) and a mysterious LA sculptor. i cannot wait for rooftop lunches in the sun with the artists. after 7 months of construction, this is bliss. (ps-lolo, i got the keys if you readin', thank you mucho).
i'm sipping white wine, trader joe's style. the birds are chirping. just made a delicious zucchinni pesto dish. have some chocolate stashed for later. am thinking about a late night bath, but don't want to clean the tub. hugh and i are talking about re-arranging (possibly painting) another room-- measuring coaches and feng shuing is a constant in this house of 2 artists:) am happy and relieved with my decision about the job after many painstaking lists of pros/cons/financials. and excited to return to my studio to add to my recent painting.
how do you define indulgence? i like when i can find the simple answers after clearing away the clutter.