Tuesday, April 25, 2006

little indulgences

inspiration line
my girl
my heart
my boy

hello there,

it feels like a while since i've wrote something real... for days now i've been wrought with a dilemma/opportunity to take a job in an arts related field for little pay. i did the math over and over again, but ultimately, even after asking for more $ the job wouldn't pay as much as a restaurant one.

it was such a good exercise in clarifying my current values. i found myself debating what i should be doing with what i want to be doing. i'm sometimes a bit of a goody-goody, or rather, i don't like to dissapoint people and therefore saying no to things is challenging. even if it is a job that doesn't ultimately sustain me financially.

i wish it weren't so, but in the process i realized there were other issues at stake, like time for me alone to paint! it feels so indulgent and delicious.

sweet love of painting... i cannot wait to have a summer of days off (night working at the restaurant-- a new stable Indian one with wonderful interesting people, many of whom are artists too). having made that decision affords me time and renewed energy towards my summer plans.

i am really looking forward to lunchtime with my studiomates. a new one just arrived whom i already adore who does sound documentaries and my friend sab is soon to join:) and a mysterious LA sculptor. i cannot wait for rooftop lunches in the sun with the artists. after 7 months of construction, this is bliss. (ps-lolo, i got the keys if you readin', thank you mucho).

i'm sipping white wine, trader joe's style. the birds are chirping. just made a delicious zucchinni pesto dish. have some chocolate stashed for later. am thinking about a late night bath, but don't want to clean the tub. hugh and i are talking about re-arranging (possibly painting) another room-- measuring coaches and feng shuing is a constant in this house of 2 artists:) am happy and relieved with my decision about the job after many painstaking lists of pros/cons/financials. and excited to return to my studio to add to my recent painting.

how do you define indulgence? i like when i can find the simple answers after clearing away the clutter.


Stef said...

isn't it nice when you can come to a decision and be happy with it. your new space sounds amazing!


kelly said...

hmmmm...clearing away the clutter?
is that even possible? i am always working on that one. can i come there and setup studio? those
rooftop lunches sound oh so heavenly. hope all is well.

happy wednesday!

Shari said...

sounds like you are in a good place mati. nothing is better than that! rooftop lunches, chirping birds, and chocolate for later. enjoy my dear! xo, shari

shash said...

hi mati, what a cute doll! thanks for sharing your work thoughts...

risa said...

congrats on your decision!
indulgence for me is letting myself sleep in, reading and eating breakfast in my PJs, taking a long hot shower (at least as long as the hot water lasts), and then a walk in the park.

la vie en rose said...

indulgence=that little somethin' special i give/do for myself to remind myself how special, how worthy, how important i am, being good to myself...that would mean long baths (sometimes by candle light), making time to be alone, reading poetry at lunch, purchasing a new cd, seeing a movie at the theatre, just to name a few

hey, i love the clothes pin idea. i may have to steal the idea for my son's bedroom. i've been trying to come up with a way to display his artistic creations.

Jesse said...

Indulgences...hmm; pedicures, letting the dog up on the bed for a snuggle, an ice coffee AFTER lunch...this is fun to think about!

jerusha said...

oooooh, mati, you are describing exactly how i feel lately. i've been looking for the words, but finding the simple answers after clearing away the clutter... that's it.

Swirly said...

Indulgence to me is letting a day unfold minute by minute, with no schedules, no planning, no shoulds and no obligation to do anything other than what moves you.