Friday, May 12, 2006

grateful friday!

lunch in the backyard

rainbow shirts

hello my friends,

i really feel like i am making gigantic leaps of understanding in the last few days. i've had an incredible combination of working really hard at school, having a mini-break away with friends i've known for 12 years and know me to the core, meeting up with newer friends from art school who share my art dreams and now a bit of a break in it all to process it all.

it is time for me to catch up with who I AM. REALLY seeing who AM I today. who is Me, Mati? presently. enjoying this. I am quoting someone else here, but I am "moving out of a world of other people's projections and finding new labels for myself".

out with the OLD: laxidaisical, dreamer, passive, head in the clouds, out to lunch, quiet, flexible, loose boundaries, small, financially struggling with not a lot to offer...

TODAY: organized, creative, resourceful, engaged, emotionally available, with my own opinions, tall, authentic, an ARTIST, empowered, accepting, imperfect, strong sense of self, growing, capable, dreamer and goal oriented, worthy and have so much to offer in this world (and some salty tears streaming down my face as I write this and come to realize how many false irritating labels I carry, and why?)

I really want to connect with my own voice. my own passion. i really want to be engaged and present with who I am today and discard the rest. stop working so hard towards the future and harness my yoga lessons of being present in TODAY and the rest will follow. Today I am grateful for myself and this understanding and for you and this bloggy place to foster these realizations.

how about them apples? Who are YOU today? What do you want to discard? !Viva!


lisbeth said...

i've been lurking here for a while and i want to tell you that this.... treasure trove of epiphanies that you have in a blog are really wonderful to read, for me as a girl, a human, and an artist. also, that i find it amusing that you go to cca and that i applied there for grad school (but got rejected). today i am a girl, quiet but empowered. it is finally summer and that crazy summer air brings the most amazing feelings. if you want to email me or something, i would really really like that.

Stef said...

this is a great reminder and a kick in my butt to do the same. thank you girl!

Meredith said...

hi Mati,
this makes me all teary-eyed and happy. thank you for sharing.


jenny vorwaller said...

one thing:

you are SO incredible

don't you love being "grown-up" !



shash said...

wow. awesome. it's hard to toss those labels. lately i've been sick of how i make myself small in so many ways. you are inspiring mati! a big cheers to you. :-))

emily j.m. said...

this is a great post mates. it makes me want to go do an old/new list of my own. thank you.

you should also know that i finally got a frame for kitten and scissors now that we're settled in our new place and when max was putting the print up on the wall, he said, "i think this is the nicest thing we have!" we love it. xox

Goddess of Leonie said...


thank you being lumpy and bumpy and miracle-ulous

wendy said...

love this!!
finding your voice is fabulous & letting it be heard - even better!

risa said...

i always love your posts mati. it really seems like you´re coming in to your own. what a wonderful thing!!! some people never reach that point. one thing i´m really working on, as i alluded to in my blog, is to not be afraid to speak my mind. for many years i´ve had strong opinions but was always afraid of offending people or sounding self-righteous. i know realize the importance of sharing one´s views and i want to be known as someone who knows what she thinks (but is also open to others´views and possibly changing mine as a result).

Camilla Engman said...

You are brave and beautiful.

deborah said...

I really like what you wrote about not focusing too much on planning for the future and to be more present in today...the rest will follow. I, myself, tend to focus too much on the future and as a result, it can be so overwhelming. "Today" is something that I can definitely handle, it's more attainable. Thanks for the insight.