Tuesday, March 11, 2008

facing fear is scary. yo!

i faced some deep seated personal fears yesterday and came through on the other side. i want to share some wisdom that got me through it.... ask for help, acknowledge how scared you are no matter how irrational it may seem (really listen to that scared part of yourself), write down your safety net... i wrote on a piece of paper all my loved ones (and i feel incredibly blessed that it was teeming over and names crammed into the sides) if the worst case scenario were to happen how they would catch me. and carry some mementos that help: sweet smelling jasmine i picked from a tree and a bright red leaf i found on my walk. nature helps ground me, in my pocket. i also brought my husband along for some hand holding. and i said a few prayers even though i'm not sure who i was praying to. it all helped. there's that saying.. "there's nothing to fear, but fear itself", but man that is real.

phew.

true blue friends are huge too. i have been so grateful of my growing & multi-dimensional friendship with the amazingly talented and real kelly. i feel she gets me and vice versa. we can talk low brow tv, indie flicks, painful bits and dreaming big all over a split pizza. thank you kelly. we are very excited to share news of a project we've been working towards that hopefully includes some of you too... soon!

kelly & mati photobooth
some homemade photobooth pics of us from the other week. silly.

interesting that in order to celebrate fully it's also necessary to look straight at what's holding you back. for me at least. to embrace the vulnerabilities & the successes simultaneously feels weird, but entirely present.

tomorrow i'll share some shop news. till then. be kind to yourself. you are loved & safe.

sweet dreams,
mati

9 comments:

Susannah said...

This is so very wise, M - i keep a feather in my pocket, to remind me there are angels looking after me (it really does help)

you girls are so cute together! i'm drinking a toast to creative loving friendships with my morning tea :-)

kelly said...

hmmm....i have never thought of that. love the images of you both. my daughter is in your neighborhood. she flew out yesterday for job interviews. i am keeping my fingers crossed that she gets a job out there. then i would have an excuse to travel to the west coast!

wendy said...

love that your protected yourself. braveness!!

lisa s said...

oh mati... hugs to you...
yes fear is there - but obviously you are gaining the skills to overcome it...

xoxo

kelly rae said...

hi there, mati. it's so true isn't it? the asking for help part. i struggle so much with that, but when i embrace that little broken piece of myself and reach out and ask, the gifts of comfort/love/community come thru. i'm so glad for you. in so many ways. just glad.

and i love these photos of us captured in several moments of sillyness of the best kind.

xo

risa said...

you are very brave!
and wise to protect yourself.
i always love photos of you.
your smile is so genuine that i can always tell you are really happy.

jenifer74 said...

i like that you held h.'s hand and some lovely nature to help ground you & keep you. sweet & strong.

Molly Kate said...

Hi Mati! I saw your art in cloth, paper, scissors and I just wanted to tell you that I love it! Your artwork is amazing. Have a great day!

Marisa and Creative Thursday said...

hang in! I know what you're going through. Whatever you're afraid of becomes a lot less scary when you look at and begin to go with the flow of where life is trying to take you ~ with ease.